she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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