she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize