At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
