woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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