You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
