Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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