i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
try to milk me bitch
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
