my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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