I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
