fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
