im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
