There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
