we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize