Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
