he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
