And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
