I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think people are normalizing furries
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
