I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
