Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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