Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
