So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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