return my video game
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
