I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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