afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
