i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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