His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize