No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
