That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My liver just had a heart attack.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize