I love black thongs
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
