If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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