There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
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I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
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You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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