we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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