Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
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Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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