I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize