Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
