We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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