So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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