i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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