We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
