It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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