arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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