he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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