i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Acid is not a monday night drug
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
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My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
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As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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