Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You pole danced in your parka.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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