I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
