So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
