Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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