I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
