At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He better not be in your backpack
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
