Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
