My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
