About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
