Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
