Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
