I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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