Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
