Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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