the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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