Fine. I'll sleep in my office
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
