its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize